1
00:00:03,168 --> 00:00:06,404
[♪]

2
00:01:15,841 --> 00:01:16,841
[groans]

3
00:01:16,842 --> 00:01:18,176
[sighs]

4
00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,646
What's the first derivative
of kinetic energy

5
00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:23,148
With respect
to velocity?

6
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,849
I don't know.

7
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:28,220
What goes "quack"?

8
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,727
I don't know.

9
00:01:42,468 --> 00:01:43,535
Ahem.

10
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,204
Ahem!

11
00:01:46,205 --> 00:01:47,638
Hey, kids.

12
00:01:47,639 --> 00:01:49,574
Put away your stupid
homework for a minute

13
00:01:49,575 --> 00:01:51,943
And look at mommy.

14
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:54,845
She's going out
with her man tonight.

15
00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:58,516
Where should we
tell dad you went?

16
00:01:58,517 --> 00:02:01,652
It's your father
I'm going out with.

17
00:02:01,653 --> 00:02:05,623
At least <i>he</i> cared enough
to remember my birthday,

18
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,725
Which is more than I can say
for certain two people

19
00:02:07,726 --> 00:02:10,996
Who sprang painfully,
and in some cases,

20
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:14,332
Backwards from my loins.

21
00:02:16,668 --> 00:02:18,036
We would've gotten
you something,

22
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,037
But last year
you said,

23
00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:20,304
"if I ever start
to look as old

24
00:02:20,305 --> 00:02:21,873
"as mrs. Mckelvey
across the street

25
00:02:21,874 --> 00:02:24,175
I never wanna have
a birthday again."

26
00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:28,145
Mrs. Mckelvey is 50.

27
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:36,120
Just wait till I find out
when your birthdays are.

28
00:02:36,788 --> 00:02:38,489
Mine's in February.

29
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:40,592
I'm an aquarium.

30
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:46,797
And an empty one.

31
00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,102
Where's dad
takin' you?

32
00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,003
Oh, I don't know.

33
00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:54,472
He just said to wear
something special.

34
00:02:54,473 --> 00:02:58,143
Gee, I hope it's dinner
and dancing at the beef trough.

35
00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,777
That's our place, you know.

36
00:02:59,778 --> 00:03:02,080
[laughs]

37
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:06,084
Peg...

38
00:03:06,085 --> 00:03:07,852
You look fabulous!

39
00:03:07,853 --> 00:03:11,222
You're gonna knock 'em dead
at the bowling alley.

40
00:03:13,024 --> 00:03:14,992
The bowling alley?

41
00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:17,495
You're taking me bowling
on my birthday?

42
00:03:17,496 --> 00:03:20,297
It's your birthday?

43
00:03:20,298 --> 00:03:24,134
Kids, tonight mommy
rides in the front seat.

44
00:03:25,037 --> 00:03:26,604
Uh, hey, what're
you kids doin'?

45
00:03:26,605 --> 00:03:28,573
Homework.
Got finals comin' up.

46
00:03:28,574 --> 00:03:31,342
Well, put it away. This is
something really important.

47
00:03:31,343 --> 00:03:32,443
Now...

48
00:03:32,444 --> 00:03:33,778
As we all know,

49
00:03:33,779 --> 00:03:36,247
My good friend puggy weaver
is leaving the neighborhood.

50
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:38,349
So this is my last chance
to break his alley record

51
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:42,219
In front of his sweaty,
pork-like little face.

52
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,654
I've been training
for weeks,

53
00:03:43,655 --> 00:03:45,356
Avoiding anything
that would hurt me:

54
00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:47,826
Red meat, red wine...

55
00:03:47,827 --> 00:03:50,161
Redheads.

56
00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:54,899
And those energy-draining
showers.

57
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:58,669
Behind every successful man
is a woman who didn't marry me.

58
00:04:01,173 --> 00:04:02,707
Now, you,
my children,

59
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:03,908
Have the important task

60
00:04:03,909 --> 00:04:05,843
Of recording my victory
for posterity.

61
00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:07,379
Too many a great
bundy moment

62
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,147
Has been lost
for lack of a camera.

63
00:04:09,148 --> 00:04:11,849
Oh, honey, we had a camera
on our honeymoon.

64
00:04:11,850 --> 00:04:15,019
You just kept
beating the flash.

65
00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,057
Well, peg, if you recall,

66
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:22,860
I was doing fine till
you came into the room.

67
00:04:25,197 --> 00:04:26,731
Come on, peg.

68
00:04:26,732 --> 00:04:30,001
This'll be the first birthday
you <i>begin</i> in an alley.

69
00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:32,236
Kids, get
the cameras.

70
00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:33,738
Peg, get my ball.

71
00:04:33,739 --> 00:04:36,174
Al,
it's my birthday.

72
00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:37,642
You're right.
I'll carry the ball.

73
00:04:37,643 --> 00:04:38,976
You go push-start the car.

74
00:04:38,977 --> 00:04:39,677
Let's go!

75
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:40,745
Let's go!

76
00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:48,420
Ready, dad.

77
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:49,887
Al:
I'm entering!

78
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,325
Widen.

79
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,026
Widen.

80
00:04:55,027 --> 00:04:56,193
Did you get your mother?

81
00:04:56,194 --> 00:04:57,328
Yeah, dad.

82
00:04:57,329 --> 00:04:58,830
Rewind.

83
00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,300
Hi.

84
00:05:03,301 --> 00:05:05,069
I'm al bundy at jim's bowlarama.

85
00:05:05,070 --> 00:05:08,239
Feelin' good, feelin' spry.

86
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,406
What have we here?

87
00:05:09,407 --> 00:05:10,641
A plaque,

88
00:05:10,642 --> 00:05:12,944
Which denotes the highest game
in bowlarama history,

89
00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:16,413
A plaque which will
soon read, "al bundy."

90
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:17,414
Yep.

91
00:05:17,415 --> 00:05:18,716
<i>Al bundy, al bundy</i>

92
00:05:18,717 --> 00:05:21,185
<i>Brave, courageous and bold</i>

93
00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:23,154
<i>Long live his fame</i>

94
00:05:23,155 --> 00:05:25,022
<i>And long live his glory</i>

95
00:05:25,023 --> 00:05:27,992
<i>Long may his story be told</i>

96
00:05:27,993 --> 00:05:29,160
Still picture, please.

97
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:36,533
Daddy, help.

98
00:05:36,534 --> 00:05:38,502
I'm blind!

99
00:05:38,503 --> 00:05:40,671
Let us bowl!

100
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:42,907
Daddy?

101
00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:44,608
Daddy?

102
00:05:44,609 --> 00:05:46,044
Daddy?

103
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,313
[sniffing]

104
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:52,316
Somethin'
die in here?

105
00:05:52,317 --> 00:05:54,185
Oh. Bundy.

106
00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:55,386
Puggy.

107
00:05:55,387 --> 00:05:56,621
I didn't
recognize you

108
00:05:56,622 --> 00:06:00,225
With your fist
out of your nose.

109
00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:01,826
So I understand
you're leavin' town.

110
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:03,962
I guess you'll be
packin' up the wife, kids,

111
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:08,566
And the 300-pound hooker you
visit every Friday after work.

112
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:09,834
So I just stopped by

113
00:06:09,835 --> 00:06:11,602
To give you a little
goin'-away present.

114
00:06:11,603 --> 00:06:13,204
Al "the king" bundy

115
00:06:13,205 --> 00:06:15,006
Will now do
to your record

116
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,508
What time has done
to your face.

117
00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:21,446
Peg...

118
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,881
Unzip it.

119
00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:26,050
The bag, peg.

120
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,724
There's a spot
on my ball.

121
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,725
Peg!

122
00:06:38,697 --> 00:06:41,666
Sorry, girls.
He's taken.

123
00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:44,436
Start tape.

124
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,603
Bud:
Ready, dad.

125
00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:47,906
Frame one:

126
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:50,575
The bundy legend.

127
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,548
Stee-rike!

128
00:07:08,226 --> 00:07:11,596
Well, it's gonna be
a long evening, mom.

129
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:14,332
You want me to order
a couple of beers?

130
00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:18,102
For you, and, uh,

131
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,738
Some ice cream
with gummy bears for me?

132
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,111
Stee-rike!

133
00:07:34,653 --> 00:07:37,455
Still a long way
to 256, bundy.

134
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,490
Not for your wife, puggy.

135
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:42,560
Al,

136
00:07:42,561 --> 00:07:44,194
I'm bored.

137
00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:45,763
Peg, this is
a bowling alley.

138
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:48,132
Surely you can find
something to do?

139
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:49,968
Well, I just
can't decide.

140
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,035
Let's see.

141
00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:54,973
Tennis, baccarat,
chamber music.

142
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,074
Oh, I know.

143
00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:58,542
Maybe those gentlemen
scratching their behinds

144
00:07:58,543 --> 00:08:01,712
Are having a poetry reading.

145
00:08:01,713 --> 00:08:03,514
Peg, bowl!

146
00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:05,216
Oh, yeah, that would
look really great.

147
00:08:05,217 --> 00:08:06,751
There is nothing
more pathetic

148
00:08:06,752 --> 00:08:09,787
Than a woman
who bowls alone.

149
00:08:10,622 --> 00:08:13,524
[sighs]

150
00:08:13,525 --> 00:08:15,927
Well, here
we are again.

151
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,029
Marcie?

152
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:19,230
Peggy!

153
00:08:19,231 --> 00:08:20,798
Oh!

154
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,869
This isn't as pitiful
as it seems.

155
00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:26,270
Well, actually,

156
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:28,305
I was told this is
a good place to meet men.

157
00:08:28,306 --> 00:08:29,607
And it is.

158
00:08:29,608 --> 00:08:32,076
Why, just last week,
I met two guys.

159
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:34,345
Of course,
they left together.

160
00:08:35,313 --> 00:08:38,048
Yep, the single life
for me.

161
00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:38,983
Oh, yeah.

162
00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:40,751
This is the place
to find a good one.

163
00:08:40,752 --> 00:08:42,153
You know,
there's nothing wrong

164
00:08:42,154 --> 00:08:44,688
With dating a doctor
or a lawyer,

165
00:08:44,689 --> 00:08:47,724
But when you are really ready
to settle down...

166
00:08:47,725 --> 00:08:48,759
[chuckles]

167
00:08:57,102 --> 00:09:00,104
...You can't beat
a bowler.

168
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:03,040
Frame eight:

169
00:09:03,041 --> 00:09:04,875
With grim
determination,

170
00:09:04,876 --> 00:09:06,844
Bundy picks up
his ball,

171
00:09:06,845 --> 00:09:08,879
Knowing all he needs
is two strikes

172
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,881
And eight little pins

173
00:09:10,882 --> 00:09:13,484
And a certain pork pie's record
is history.

174
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,556
Oh, there is no joy
in pugville.

175
00:09:20,492 --> 00:09:23,528
Mighty bundy
shall strike out.

176
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:26,330
Just bowl, shoemeister.

177
00:09:26,331 --> 00:09:27,064
Al, honey,

178
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:29,934
I just bowled
four strikes in a row.

179
00:09:29,935 --> 00:09:31,802
Shut up, peg.

180
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,541
Stee-rike!

181
00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:48,319
Honey, this really
is so exciting.

182
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,121
I mean, four strikes
in a row!

183
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:51,622
I've never
done that before.

184
00:09:51,623 --> 00:09:52,957
Come on, you gotta
come see.

185
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,225
Peg, this is
your birthday,

186
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:57,095
Please don't make me
kill you.

187
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,596
Okay, okay.

188
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,497
I'll be quiet.

189
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:05,302
Honey?

190
00:10:05,303 --> 00:10:06,971
Huh?

191
00:10:12,744 --> 00:10:14,078
Uh-oh.

192
00:10:14,079 --> 00:10:15,312
Uh-oh!

193
00:10:15,313 --> 00:10:17,381
A 2-4-10 split.

194
00:10:17,382 --> 00:10:19,583
You gotta pick all them up
and bowl a strike

195
00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:21,218
If you wanna
break my record.

196
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,956
What did you want,
peg?

197
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:30,862
Well, I just wanted
to wish you good luck.

198
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:32,530
Away, woman!

199
00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:46,610
One more strike to go!

200
00:10:47,312 --> 00:10:49,947
Peg:
Stee-rike!

201
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,482
Ah, heh.

202
00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,919
Are you ready,
bud?

203
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:55,953
Ready,
dad.

204
00:10:55,954 --> 00:10:57,588
Kelly?

205
00:11:08,233 --> 00:11:10,802
Good girl, kelly.

206
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,738
This is for all the marbles.

207
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:18,175
Stee-ee...

208
00:11:18,176 --> 00:11:20,444
...Ee-ee-eeee...

209
00:11:20,445 --> 00:11:21,546
...Rike!

210
00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:22,613
I did it!

211
00:11:22,614 --> 00:11:24,181
Two-fifty-seven!

212
00:11:24,182 --> 00:11:26,450
I got it on tape!

213
00:11:26,451 --> 00:11:28,819
My life is not for nothing!

214
00:11:28,820 --> 00:11:30,354
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

215
00:11:30,355 --> 00:11:31,822
I'm so happy!

216
00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:34,124
Nothing can ruin
this moment.

217
00:11:38,296 --> 00:11:41,666
Peg:
Stee-rike!

218
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,634
Hey, the broad
in the gown

219
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,570
Just bowled
six strikes in a row!

220
00:11:54,412 --> 00:11:56,881
You've got six strikes
in a row, peggy.

221
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:59,851
Gee, I wonder what
the bowlarama record is.

222
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,385
Uh, peg.
I'm done.

223
00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:02,920
We can go
home now.

224
00:12:04,323 --> 00:12:05,823
She can't go now.

225
00:12:05,824 --> 00:12:09,426
She's bowling
a once-in-a-lifetime game.

226
00:12:09,427 --> 00:12:10,828
Yeah, dad.
Look.

227
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:14,398
I mean, three more strikes
and your record's history.

228
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:15,432
Oh, uh,

229
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,533
Dad?

230
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:18,836
Could you, sweat
this way, please?

231
00:12:24,209 --> 00:12:27,044
Al, wouldn't it be great
if I broke your record?

232
00:12:27,045 --> 00:12:28,045
[laughs]

233
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:29,380
Oh, man.

234
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:32,816
That'd be the icing
on the tombstone.

235
00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:35,152
Any tips
for tomorrow's losers?

236
00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:37,154
I hope someone's
filming you

237
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:40,124
During the reading
of my will.

238
00:12:40,125 --> 00:12:42,093
Ah, who cares?
I'm not worried.

239
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,561
Bud, your mother
has a 60 average,

240
00:12:44,562 --> 00:12:46,296
Just like
in high school.

241
00:12:46,297 --> 00:12:48,298
There's no way she could
possibly continue to--

242
00:12:48,299 --> 00:12:49,433
Marcie:
Strike!

243
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:50,635
Throw strikes.

244
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,037
See, what you gotta know
about bowling

245
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:55,506
Is that anybody can make
a lucky shot.

246
00:12:55,507 --> 00:12:58,175
But over the long run,
the game is set up

247
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,677
So only
the truly skillful--

248
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:00,978
Marcie:
Strike!

249
00:13:00,979 --> 00:13:03,480
Get that stupid thing
out of my face!

250
00:13:05,250 --> 00:13:06,884
Peg, listen,
honey.

251
00:13:06,885 --> 00:13:08,052
I was
just thinkin',

252
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:09,654
This is no place
to spend the evening.

253
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,256
You're all dressed up.
This is your birthday.

254
00:13:12,257 --> 00:13:13,457
I know! What say we go home,

255
00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:17,361
I take my shirt off,
you rub my back.

256
00:13:17,362 --> 00:13:18,095
I can't, honey.

257
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:19,830
Didn't you hear?

258
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:22,633
I have eight strikes
in a row.

259
00:13:22,634 --> 00:13:23,634
Just wait here.

260
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,736
I'm gonna break
your record.

261
00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:27,471
What a great birthday!

262
00:13:28,940 --> 00:13:31,174
Bud:
Hey, dad.

263
00:13:31,175 --> 00:13:34,879
A little hemlock
on the rocks, eh?

264
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,013
Not yet, son.

265
00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,281
I still have
one weapon left.

266
00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:38,282
Watch.

267
00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:39,349
Oh, peg.

268
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:41,251
Please make
this strike for me.

269
00:13:41,252 --> 00:13:43,654
You'll make me
the happiest man on earth.

270
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:44,622
Aw.
See, I've...

271
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:47,257
I got a little money
ridin' on you, peg.

272
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:48,593
Do it for me, baby.

273
00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:50,461
Do it, honey. Mwah!

274
00:13:50,462 --> 00:13:52,096
[giggling] [laughing]

275
00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:55,832
Gutter ball.

276
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:12,216
[screaming]

277
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:13,184
Strike!

278
00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:16,187
A new alley record!

279
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,721
Unbelievable!

280
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:21,826
Well...

281
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:25,162
Nothin' much left to say
but goodbye, eh, dad?

282
00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:27,064
Aw, it doesn't matter.
It's no big thing.

283
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:28,298
Well, whatever she bowls,

284
00:14:28,299 --> 00:14:29,700
I'll just come back
and beat her.

285
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:31,068
I'll bowl every night
of my life

286
00:14:31,069 --> 00:14:32,703
Until that record
is mine.

287
00:14:32,704 --> 00:14:34,004
How bad can it be?

288
00:14:34,005 --> 00:14:35,539
What's she bowling,
260?

289
00:14:35,540 --> 00:14:36,874
Marcie:
Strike!

290
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,208
270, dad.

291
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:39,109
Not impossible.

292
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:41,512
Not impossible.

293
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:42,813
Oh, al.

294
00:14:42,814 --> 00:14:44,381
Honey, I need you.

295
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:45,615
Marcie says

296
00:14:45,616 --> 00:14:48,552
That I am three balls away
from a perfect game.

297
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:50,087
A perfect game!

298
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:51,788
Oh, but, honey,
I'm nervous.

299
00:14:51,789 --> 00:14:53,023
I mean,
what if I mess up

300
00:14:53,024 --> 00:14:55,092
Like you did
on our honeymoon?

301
00:14:57,996 --> 00:15:00,564
Al, help me.

302
00:15:00,565 --> 00:15:02,799
Hey,
everybody!

303
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,735
I've got a woman working
on a perfect game here.

304
00:15:05,736 --> 00:15:07,204
She's a little nervous,

305
00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:09,339
So I want quiet.

306
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,676
That means no comments
about her shaking hands,

307
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:13,544
Her...Fading strength,

308
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:17,881
Or her...Outdated dress
that doesn't fit anymore

309
00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:20,351
On, yet this,
another birthday.

310
00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:23,120
So go ahead,
honey, bowl.

311
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,188
And remember,

312
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:27,458
I want
absolute quiet!

313
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,028
Aah!

314
00:15:39,304 --> 00:15:40,604
[screaming]

315
00:15:49,647 --> 00:15:54,217
You, sir,
are satan's toejam.

316
00:15:54,218 --> 00:15:56,253
I know what
you're up to,

317
00:15:56,254 --> 00:15:58,555
Trying to sabotage
your own wife.

318
00:15:58,556 --> 00:16:01,025
Is there no limit
to how low you'll go?

319
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,927
Well, I wouldn't
kiss you on a bet.

320
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:07,497
Can't you let this woman
have one night of joy?

321
00:16:07,498 --> 00:16:09,266
She has so little.

322
00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:11,668
She's married to you.

323
00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:13,437
You've seen
her children.

324
00:16:13,438 --> 00:16:15,806
And now, for one
fleeting moment,

325
00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:18,642
She has a chance
to bask in the sun

326
00:16:18,643 --> 00:16:21,678
Instead of reeling
from the moons.

327
00:16:21,679 --> 00:16:24,481
Now, go!
Encourage her.

328
00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:28,285
Peg,

329
00:16:30,021 --> 00:16:32,289
Our children were killed
in an avalanche.

330
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:37,294
Bowl, peggy.

331
00:16:37,295 --> 00:16:38,328
Okay.

332
00:16:38,329 --> 00:16:39,363
Bowl like
the wind.

333
00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:41,932
We're all
behind you.

334
00:16:41,933 --> 00:16:43,801
Can't beat
a 300 game, I guess.

335
00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:45,269
Well, you know,

336
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,637
I never really
liked bowling, anyway.

337
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:49,173
Yeah, those 20 years
of practice

338
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,608
Just got me ready for
what I really like to do.

339
00:16:51,609 --> 00:16:53,476
That's sit in the backyard
in a lawn chair,

340
00:16:53,477 --> 00:16:55,612
Let the buzzards
pick at my eyes.

341
00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:59,116
She won't do it,
dad.

342
00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:01,385
I mean, the chances of her
bowling a perfect game

343
00:17:01,386 --> 00:17:02,419
Are a million-to-one.

344
00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:03,887
I mean, even pros
don't bowl--

345
00:17:03,888 --> 00:17:04,655
Strike!

346
00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:06,223
[crowd cheers]

347
00:17:06,224 --> 00:17:07,691
One more!

348
00:17:07,692 --> 00:17:09,993
One more,
and she's got it.

349
00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,995
God, you must
feel low.

350
00:17:18,236 --> 00:17:19,870
Kelly, come here.

351
00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:26,477
Now, kids, do you know what
we're witnessing here?

352
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:27,478
A-- a perfect game?

353
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,380
No, no.

354
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,449
The bundy curse.

355
00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:34,184
It's what keeps us
from being happy.

356
00:17:34,185 --> 00:17:35,619
There's no point
in fighting it.

357
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:39,723
It's what separates us
from the ordinary losers.

358
00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:41,492
They can have
their moments,

359
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:42,860
But not us.

360
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,661
Never us.

361
00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:46,463
But mom's having
a major moment now,

362
00:17:46,464 --> 00:17:47,498
And she's a bundy.

363
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:50,100
She's not truly
a bundy.

364
00:17:50,101 --> 00:17:52,502
See, your mother's just
a bundy by marriage.

365
00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:57,407
She's part
of the curse.

366
00:17:57,408 --> 00:18:01,011
But we are
blood bundys.

367
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:03,681
We are truly doomed.

368
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:09,319
All [weakly]:
Whoa, bundy.

369
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:13,023
Okay, al.

370
00:18:13,024 --> 00:18:14,858
Okay, honey.

371
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:17,161
This one's
for you.

372
00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:18,162
I know it is,
peg.

373
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,929
I know.
Okay.

374
00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:43,220
Crowd:
Aw!

375
00:18:43,221 --> 00:18:44,754
Yes!

376
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:46,156
Yes!

377
00:18:46,157 --> 00:18:47,757
I can bowl again!

378
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,059
I can bowl again!

379
00:18:57,201 --> 00:18:58,902
[cheering]

380
00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:04,675
I did it! I did it!

381
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,110
Oh, my god! Al! Al!

382
00:19:07,111 --> 00:19:10,180
Honey! Honey,
I bowled a perfect game!

383
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:12,249
Aren't you proud of me?

384
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,617
Al?

385
00:19:13,618 --> 00:19:15,652
Al?

386
00:19:24,162 --> 00:19:26,963
[over tv]
<i>hi. Garrett glaser</i>
<i>for</i> news wrap-up.

387
00:19:26,964 --> 00:19:29,065
<i>A tragedy was narrowly</i>
<i>averted today</i>

388
00:19:29,066 --> 00:19:31,835
<i>When a man returning home</i>
<i>from a bowling alley,</i>

389
00:19:31,836 --> 00:19:33,970
<i>Where his wife just bowled</i>
<i>a perfect game,</i>

390
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,339
<i>Raced into</i>
<i>a burning building,</i>

391
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,877
<i>Saved a family of 10</i>
<i>and the family dog, winky.</i>

392
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:42,145
<i>Mr. Bundy,</i>
<i>what made you do it?</i>

393
00:19:42,146 --> 00:19:44,281
<i>Well, garrett,</i>
<i>I've always been a winner.</i>

394
00:19:44,282 --> 00:19:48,452
<i>And winners are always</i>
<i>there at the winnin' time.</i>

395
00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,554
<i>Mr. Bundy,</i>
<i>people around here</i>

396
00:19:50,555 --> 00:19:52,589
<i>Are talking about</i>
<i>running you for mayor.</i>

397
00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:53,957
[chuckles]
<i>well...</i>

398
00:19:53,958 --> 00:19:56,059
<i>I'm not saying I won't run.</i>

399
00:19:56,060 --> 00:19:57,227
<i>But if I do,</i>

400
00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:59,663
<i>Order the beer and</i>
<i>get your bribes out,</i>

401
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:01,565
<i>'cause</i>
<i>as I said before,</i>

402
00:20:01,566 --> 00:20:02,933
<i>I am a winner.</i>

403
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:05,201
Crowd [chanting]:
<i>Bundy! Bundy!</i>

404
00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:07,237
<i>Bundy! Bundy!</i>

405
00:20:07,238 --> 00:20:08,872
<i>Bundy! Bundy!</i>

406
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,811
Mom, why is dad watching
a blank screen?

407
00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:20,284
I don't know.

408
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,053
But he seems happy.

409
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:26,156
He may have
just snapped, mom.

410
00:20:26,157 --> 00:20:30,860
Well, it's not like you need
a brain to sell shoes.

411
00:20:30,861 --> 00:20:32,062
Come on, kids.

412
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,830
Help mommy put
her big trophy

413
00:20:33,831 --> 00:20:35,232
In front of
daddy's little ones.

414
00:20:35,233 --> 00:20:37,033
[laughs]

415
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:38,201
Good night,
honey.

416
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:39,369
Good night,
daddy.

417
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:40,737
Good night,
dad.

418
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,907
<i>Hi, everybody,</i>
<i>I'm roy firestone.</i>

419
00:20:43,908 --> 00:20:45,509
<i>Our guest tonight</i>
<i>on</i> sportslook

420
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,344
<i>Personally rewrote</i>
<i>the record book</i>

421
00:20:47,345 --> 00:20:49,513
<i>On both offense</i>
<i>and defense.</i>

422
00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,782
<i>Meet the future</i>
<i>hall-of-famer,</i>

423
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:54,150
<i>Al "icky" bundy.</i>

424
00:21:00,191 --> 00:21:02,192
<i>You know, al, I can't help</i>
<i>but notice the fact</i>

425
00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:04,060
<i>That you're wearing</i>
<i>your football jersey</i>

426
00:21:04,061 --> 00:21:06,229
<i>Three months after</i>
<i>the season was played.</i>

427
00:21:06,230 --> 00:21:10,701
<i>Well, roy, it fits good,</i>
<i>and the chicks love it.</i>

428
00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:13,603
<i>[chuckles]</i>

429
00:21:13,604 --> 00:21:17,107
<i>Al, if we could get serious</i>
<i>for just a few moments.</i>

430
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:20,543
<i>Your wife's bowling game,</i>
<i>the perfect 300 score...</i>

431
00:21:20,544 --> 00:21:22,579
<i>Did it in any way</i>
<i>affect you...</i>

432
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,480
<i>Mentally?</i>

433
00:21:24,481 --> 00:21:26,215
<i>Well, it might have</i>
<i>affected me, roy,</i>

434
00:21:26,216 --> 00:21:28,452
<i>If I didn't have anything</i>
<i>else in my life.</i>

435
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:31,855
<i>But, you know, between</i>
<i>the nfl and the endorsements,</i>

436
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:36,026
<i>And of course being knighted</i>
<i>by the queen of England...</i>

437
00:21:36,027 --> 00:21:37,794
<i>Well, what the hell,</i>
<i>let the little lady</i>

438
00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:40,230
<i>Have her little moment</i>
<i>in the sun, you know.</i>

439
00:21:40,231 --> 00:21:43,100
<i>If there was</i>
<i>a single word,</i>

440
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:45,869
<i>A single word</i>
<i>that would define</i>

441
00:21:45,870 --> 00:21:47,337
<i>The essence of you, al,</i>

442
00:21:47,338 --> 00:21:49,305
<i>What do you think</i>
<i>that word would be?</i>

443
00:21:51,842 --> 00:21:53,177
<i>Winner.</i>

444
00:21:55,079 --> 00:21:56,513
<i>Al bundy,</i>
<i>ladies and gentlemen.</i>

445
00:21:56,514 --> 00:21:58,248
<i>Husband, father,</i>

446
00:21:58,249 --> 00:22:00,083
<i>Football player,</i>

447
00:22:00,084 --> 00:22:01,918
<i>Bullfighter,</i>

448
00:22:01,919 --> 00:22:03,153
<i>Aviator,</i>

449
00:22:03,154 --> 00:22:05,455
<i>Inventor of</i>
<i>the seven-day underwear...</i>

450
00:22:05,456 --> 00:22:08,491
<i>Truly, truly</i>
<i>the complete man.</i>

451
00:22:08,492 --> 00:22:10,994
<i>Thank you, al, for joining us.</i>
<i>We really appreciate it.</i>

452
00:22:10,995 --> 00:22:13,864
<i>Hey, it's your dime, roy.</i>

453
00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:17,200
<i>We'll be back with more</i>
<i>on</i> sportslook <i>right after this.</i>

454
00:22:37,088 --> 00:22:38,988
[♪]